Are You Ready for 2011? You made it through the Holidays, Congrats!
Now what are you doing New Years? You have time to reflect on 2010,
the good, the bad, the ugly, and what you do and do not want to come
into your 2011 year. Many of us do what is called New Years
Resolutions, a pledge or vow of goals for a better You. However, many
of us fail to carry the resolution out because it's like we crash and
burn in one month. in January, gyms are packed, and specials flood
the media for Dieters and Quitters of Smoking. Then February, you
back to the same habit! It doesn't have to be this way. So, I want to
help you plan how to do your New Years Resolutions S.M.A.R.T.!
S.M.A.R.T. like R.E.S.E.T. is an acronym for Specific, Measurable,
Attainable, Realistic, and Time-Conscious. (Note: The letters mean
different depending on who's teaching; some would say it stands for
Specific, Measurable, Achieveable, Relevant, and Timely, but it is
all in the same ballpark.)
Before starting any goal, you want to have a plan, or what I tell my
clients a Course of Action. Having a course of action sets the
foundation or blueprint to what you are going after. When doing any
goal, make sure it answers the following: Who, What, When, Where,
Why, How. So we have a structured start. Let's begin building
S.M.A.R.T.
S.-Specific means to be concise and exact on what it is you are
trying to accomplish. Let's use the example: I want to lose weight.
You have the goal in mind, but the goal is vague and general. Making
it specific would sound like this: I want to lose 10 inches from my
waist. See the difference? You specified Who's doing it, and What's
you're doing. We will now go to the M.
M.-Measurable means to have the ability to track, assess, calculate
your course of action. Having mini goals towards your main goal, or
objectives, helps to measure your progress. Back to our example: I
want to lose 10 inches off my waist by 1. eating small portions 3xs a
day 7 days a week. 2. going to the gym for 1/2 hour 5 times a week.
3. doing a daily log at least 2x a day for the next 90 days to track
progress. So now you have the Who's doing it, What you're doing,
Where it's being done, How it's being done. Now going to the A....
A.-Attainable means setting goals that are achievable. Make goals
that will be easy to attain. I will lose 10 inches from my waist. I
will lose 1-2 inches in 90 days. As oppose to saying I will lose 10
inches in 10 days! You want goals that will be attainable, not
drastic and possibly costly to your health. Who's doing it, What
you're doing, When it's being done are addressed. Let's move to R.
R.-Realistic means make your goals Realistic! Make them attainable
and relevant to you. Do not base your goals on someone else. Someone
else maybe able to lose 10 inches from waist in 10 days because of
their metabolism, etc.and you may have to go about losing inches a
different way. It is entirely okay! Do what makes sense for you and
that it doesn't affect your overall way of life and wellbeing.
Therefore, I want to lose 10 inches from my waist by losing 1-2
inches a month by changing my diet and the way i diet. first week I
will eat smaller portion at least once in the week. 2nd week, I will
eat smaller portions, at least 2xs/week, 3rd week, I will eat 3
smaller portions, etc. by end of month I will eat smaller portions at
least 5xs a week. See the difference? You are breaking it down
instead of quitting cold turkey! Don't shock your body by making
drastic moves from what it is used to. Make realistic moves! Who's
Doing it, What you're doing, When you're doing, how you're doing are
covered, let's go to the last letter, T.
T.-Time-Conscious means complete your goals in a timely manner. Two
things you do not want to do, set unrealistic time components, and
set time so far out that you are not challenged or accountable to
accomplish them. For instance, you set a goal stating you will quit
smoking in one week, when you have smoked for 25 years (unrealistic
time component) or you will stop eating chocolate by January 2020
(exaggeration, but still you are no where near challenge to begin
quitting the 'chocolate habit'). Set the time that is challenging and
holds you accountable. I will lose 10 inches off my waist starting
January 1st, 2011 and end by 9/1/2011.
So put the entire goal together and it comes out like this:
I want to lose 10 inches from my waist by 9/1/2011. I will accomplish
this by losing 1-2 inches a month for the next 9 months. I will do
this by 1. eating smaller portions 2. going to the gym 5xs a week. a.
in one month i will increase smaller portions weekly up to 2 of 3
meals daily. I will track my progress weekly. I will check my status
every 3 months up to 9/1/11. This covers the Who's doing it, What
You're doing, When you are doing it, Where you are doing it, How you
are doing it, and the Why, is to be healthier, and improved!
Note: if you do not meet your goal, back to example: i will lose 1-2
inches in the first 3 months, assess Why and What. Why did you not
lose the inches and What in your plan didn't work. DO NOT Give Up OR
Quit! Simply Readjust your Course of Action and Resume. Again, it is
about simplifying the way you do things and contouring the goals to
fit you! So remember, Do Not Give Up or Quit, simply Readjust or
R.E.S.E.T. your objectives and goals to finally accomplish your New
Year's Resolutions for 2011 and beyond for a New Year New You!
Check out www.reset-mylife.net - http://www.reset-mylife.net for more tips, AND
Married Couples, RESET My Marriage Too Valentine Getaway February
11th-13th 2011! Tickets 30% off and chance to win a free One
Day/Night Stay at the Beautiful Christiana Hilton Hotel in Newark,
DE! go to www.reset-mylife.net - http://www.reset-mylife.net to register NOW!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Couple Holiness-By Kier Berkel, LPCMH
In addition to my private practice, I also work with adolescents who don’t always make the best choices in their everyday lives. Often, as I discuss my frustrations about today’s youth with colleagues (as if I was the perfect adolescent) I wonder if we can correlate adolescents’ behaviors to the level of spirituality present in their families. On the macro level, we all realize that adolescents will make “bad” decisions, no matter how spiritual or “religious” their parents are, but the question presented itself to me on how important is spirituality to enhancing and sustaining a relationship?
The purpose of this blog is not to preach to you on the importance of being spiritual (holy, religious, or whatever they’re calling it now) or to give a broad definition of what spirituality is. Instead, I would like to discuss spirituality between couples, or what some have called “couple holiness”. There are various behaviors that exemplify this phenomenon, but before I discuss some examples, imagine if spirituality in relationships could be “the only gospel that others will ever read?” Deep, right? Let’s think outside the box, shall we? Is couple holiness only limited to going to church, volunteering, or proselytizing other individuals? Or can we also see couple holiness as togetherness, faithfulness, and commitment and respect towards each other? In short how can a couple reflect love is an often non-spiritual world?
William Roberts, of the University of Dayton has said that the simple (but often neglected) act of sitting down and eating meals are one of many ways of fostering spirituality within a marriage or family. In my own relationship, doing a home repair together, for me is a spiritual experience. The act of using both of our talents and strengths to improve our home is often enlightening and transcends our own individuality. Other examples of “couple holiness” can be but not limited to:
• Making love (not just sex, but heavy petting too!!!!)
• Going shopping together
• Walking in nature
• Reading and discussing a book together.
• Tickling one another
• Sitting quietly with one another
• Checking your children’s homework
• Going to PTA meetings together
• Praising children and each other
• Cooking a meal together
I hope that we who are in a relationship with the “love of their life” would not only limit themselves to a spirituality based on how often they went to church or prayed (not that there is anything wrong with that!!), but to how they reflect their love to our world.
Respectfully,
Kier A. Berkel, LPCMH
The purpose of this blog is not to preach to you on the importance of being spiritual (holy, religious, or whatever they’re calling it now) or to give a broad definition of what spirituality is. Instead, I would like to discuss spirituality between couples, or what some have called “couple holiness”. There are various behaviors that exemplify this phenomenon, but before I discuss some examples, imagine if spirituality in relationships could be “the only gospel that others will ever read?” Deep, right? Let’s think outside the box, shall we? Is couple holiness only limited to going to church, volunteering, or proselytizing other individuals? Or can we also see couple holiness as togetherness, faithfulness, and commitment and respect towards each other? In short how can a couple reflect love is an often non-spiritual world?
William Roberts, of the University of Dayton has said that the simple (but often neglected) act of sitting down and eating meals are one of many ways of fostering spirituality within a marriage or family. In my own relationship, doing a home repair together, for me is a spiritual experience. The act of using both of our talents and strengths to improve our home is often enlightening and transcends our own individuality. Other examples of “couple holiness” can be but not limited to:
• Making love (not just sex, but heavy petting too!!!!)
• Going shopping together
• Walking in nature
• Reading and discussing a book together.
• Tickling one another
• Sitting quietly with one another
• Checking your children’s homework
• Going to PTA meetings together
• Praising children and each other
• Cooking a meal together
I hope that we who are in a relationship with the “love of their life” would not only limit themselves to a spirituality based on how often they went to church or prayed (not that there is anything wrong with that!!), but to how they reflect their love to our world.
Respectfully,
Kier A. Berkel, LPCMH
Featuring Kier Berkel, LPCMH-How to Get Married The Right Way
I am featuring my colleague and friend Kier Berkel, LPCMH, NCC. He is an African American Licensed Psychotherapist with specialties in Mood Disorders, Marriage and Family Counseling, and Marital Therapy. He is happily married to his wife of 14 years and the couple has one daughter. He is our feature speaker for our RESET My Marriage Too Valentine Weekend Getaway 2011. Here is what Kier has to say:
As a licensed psychotherapist, and being happily married for 14 years, I encounter a lot of married couples who find themselves in dire situations regarding their relationships. “I never knew they were like this….” Or, “he/she changed”, or, “I never noticed this (fill in the blank) before.” After I go through the so called “preliminaries” of asking structured/standardized questions about every intimate, personal, aspect of their relationship, I then ask the million dollar question. Have you ever had some type of pre-marital counseling before you got married? Unfortunately, I am no longer surprised when the answer is no. Let me first begin by saying that I have been married for over 14 years, but I can honestly say that if I had pre-marital counseling before I got married; I would not be married today. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife dearly, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into; and at times as our relationship continues to develop, I still have no idea.
In regards to relationships, being married or thinking about getting married; some type of therapeutic intervention is highly recommended. Either you are going to receive therapy to enhance the relationship, thus lowering the chances of divorce or receive therapy to save the relationship. If you are considering marriage, I would choose the latter. Since I started my practice in 2008, I have only had one instance in which I treated a couple who was considering marriage. I can count how many couples I had treated who were trying to save their marriage. Now of course there are excuses on why a couple can not engage in pre-marital therapy. “We don’t have time!” I heard a couple say, or “This is my soul mate”, or “I’ve never felt like this with anyone before!” and believe me there are countless other excuses. One thing we may want to consider is that when we meet a person for the first time, he/she is not the “real person.” The real person reveals him/her self maybe after the first two years. Pre-marital therapy will enable (if both participants are open and honest, and the therapist is good) each other to “discover” the real person.
Issues that may come up are concerns that everyone should want to know about their possible mate, like:
• How do you communicate
• Have you ever had a criminal record
• How do you display anger
• Do you have emotional problems
• What health problems run in your family
• How do you handle conflict
• What type of family did you come from
• Do I have trust or insecurity issues
• Are you jealous
• What do you like/dislike about me
• What type of personality do you display
• What are your life goals or aspirations
• What are your views on parenting
• How do you handle money
• Are gifts important
• How do you show affection
These are just some examples of issues that are important to most couples, but conveniently do not come up, during the “infatuation stage” of most relationships. In closing, choosing to become involved in a long term meaningful relationship is a rewarding endeavor, but if time is not considered to prepare for this life changing event, it could develop into a huge detriment!
Kier A. Berkel, LPCMH
As a licensed psychotherapist, and being happily married for 14 years, I encounter a lot of married couples who find themselves in dire situations regarding their relationships. “I never knew they were like this….” Or, “he/she changed”, or, “I never noticed this (fill in the blank) before.” After I go through the so called “preliminaries” of asking structured/standardized questions about every intimate, personal, aspect of their relationship, I then ask the million dollar question. Have you ever had some type of pre-marital counseling before you got married? Unfortunately, I am no longer surprised when the answer is no. Let me first begin by saying that I have been married for over 14 years, but I can honestly say that if I had pre-marital counseling before I got married; I would not be married today. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife dearly, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into; and at times as our relationship continues to develop, I still have no idea.
In regards to relationships, being married or thinking about getting married; some type of therapeutic intervention is highly recommended. Either you are going to receive therapy to enhance the relationship, thus lowering the chances of divorce or receive therapy to save the relationship. If you are considering marriage, I would choose the latter. Since I started my practice in 2008, I have only had one instance in which I treated a couple who was considering marriage. I can count how many couples I had treated who were trying to save their marriage. Now of course there are excuses on why a couple can not engage in pre-marital therapy. “We don’t have time!” I heard a couple say, or “This is my soul mate”, or “I’ve never felt like this with anyone before!” and believe me there are countless other excuses. One thing we may want to consider is that when we meet a person for the first time, he/she is not the “real person.” The real person reveals him/her self maybe after the first two years. Pre-marital therapy will enable (if both participants are open and honest, and the therapist is good) each other to “discover” the real person.
Issues that may come up are concerns that everyone should want to know about their possible mate, like:
• How do you communicate
• Have you ever had a criminal record
• How do you display anger
• Do you have emotional problems
• What health problems run in your family
• How do you handle conflict
• What type of family did you come from
• Do I have trust or insecurity issues
• Are you jealous
• What do you like/dislike about me
• What type of personality do you display
• What are your life goals or aspirations
• What are your views on parenting
• How do you handle money
• Are gifts important
• How do you show affection
These are just some examples of issues that are important to most couples, but conveniently do not come up, during the “infatuation stage” of most relationships. In closing, choosing to become involved in a long term meaningful relationship is a rewarding endeavor, but if time is not considered to prepare for this life changing event, it could develop into a huge detriment!
Kier A. Berkel, LPCMH
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Thank you from RESET, LLC
Hi!
Kier and I and the rest of the RESET Team would like to say thank you from our hearts for your attendance and participation! We applaud you for your presence at the event, as we were not able to do this without you!
Now, Kier and I want to update you on the following events:
We are moving forward with our RESET Couples Group Counseling. It is for 6-8 weeks starting Tuesday, July 6th, 2010, from 6pm-7:30pm in Newark, DE. We want to continue with the RESET My Marriage premise, to help married couples work on Reconciliation, Restoration, and Reconnection in your relationship with one another. The cost covers materials, space and light refreshments, all for $45 per couple. Curriculum will specify the actual topics, which are similar to the event: Conflict, Communication, Sex, Finances.
Group requirements:
Married for 20 years of more,
Commitment for change in various areas of your marriage
Commitment to the 6 to 8 weeks
Be on time
No insurance, only cash,check, credit card.
Only 4 couples per group, so please call right away at 443-822-2446. ACT FAST!
Kier and I are also doing free workshops throughout the summer from Mood Disorders, signs, symptoms, and solutions, and we are starting our First Radio Internet Show coming the beginning of July.
Get ready for Round 2-RESET My Marriage Retreat in October.....more info to follow
Please go to www.reset-mylife.net for info and start preparing for your spot at the Retreat.
Also, hot off the presses, if you liked the RESET Teleseminars-particularly the one with Kier and I you received at the Event, RESET MY MAN/RESET MY WOMAN, then you will enjoy the other 6-CD set! Includes:
Deb Lanio's RESET My Sex Life
Connie Newton and John Anderson's RESET My Finances
Dr. Sheldon Nix's RESET My Mind
Sarah Langley's RESET My Marriage and Relationships
Kier Berkel's RESET My Communication Skills
Darrell Freeman's RESET Myself To Stop the Conflict!
Prices start at only $6 per CD, $36 total, and if you attended the event you will receive the Entire Series for ONLY $25! You Cannot Beat That!
Please contact me at info@reset-mylife.net to get your set or copy today before they are all gone!
I look forward in hearing from you soon.......
Sincerely,
Sarah Langley,
RESET, LLC
www.reset-mylife.net
Kier and I and the rest of the RESET Team would like to say thank you from our hearts for your attendance and participation! We applaud you for your presence at the event, as we were not able to do this without you!
Now, Kier and I want to update you on the following events:
We are moving forward with our RESET Couples Group Counseling. It is for 6-8 weeks starting Tuesday, July 6th, 2010, from 6pm-7:30pm in Newark, DE. We want to continue with the RESET My Marriage premise, to help married couples work on Reconciliation, Restoration, and Reconnection in your relationship with one another. The cost covers materials, space and light refreshments, all for $45 per couple. Curriculum will specify the actual topics, which are similar to the event: Conflict, Communication, Sex, Finances.
Group requirements:
Married for 20 years of more,
Commitment for change in various areas of your marriage
Commitment to the 6 to 8 weeks
Be on time
No insurance, only cash,check, credit card.
Only 4 couples per group, so please call right away at 443-822-2446. ACT FAST!
Kier and I are also doing free workshops throughout the summer from Mood Disorders, signs, symptoms, and solutions, and we are starting our First Radio Internet Show coming the beginning of July.
Get ready for Round 2-RESET My Marriage Retreat in October.....more info to follow
Please go to www.reset-mylife.net for info and start preparing for your spot at the Retreat.
Also, hot off the presses, if you liked the RESET Teleseminars-particularly the one with Kier and I you received at the Event, RESET MY MAN/RESET MY WOMAN, then you will enjoy the other 6-CD set! Includes:
Deb Lanio's RESET My Sex Life
Connie Newton and John Anderson's RESET My Finances
Dr. Sheldon Nix's RESET My Mind
Sarah Langley's RESET My Marriage and Relationships
Kier Berkel's RESET My Communication Skills
Darrell Freeman's RESET Myself To Stop the Conflict!
Prices start at only $6 per CD, $36 total, and if you attended the event you will receive the Entire Series for ONLY $25! You Cannot Beat That!
Please contact me at info@reset-mylife.net to get your set or copy today before they are all gone!
I look forward in hearing from you soon.......
Sincerely,
Sarah Langley,
RESET, LLC
www.reset-mylife.net
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Free RESET My Marriage and Relationship Teleseminar tonight 8pm Sex and Romance with Deb Lanio
Tonite 8pm, 712-432-0075 484482# RESET Teleseminar: Dr. Deb Lanio, Sexologist: How to Revive your Love/Sex Life-Women's Edition! Men, you need to hear this so you can stop messing up in the bedroom, It Is Your Fault! Don't Agree? Talk to you tonite! lol
Dr. Debra Laino DHS, M.ED, MS holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, CA, a Masters Degree in Education from Widener University in Chester, PA, and a Masters Degree in Psychology from Capella University in Minneapolis, MN. She has over ten years of professional experience.Dr. Debra Laino is Board Certified by the American College of Sexologists and Diplomate of The American Board of Sexology. In addition she is an AASECT certified Sexuality Educator.Dr. Debra Laino has conducted countless workshops on topics such as Issues in Sex Therapy, Cancer and Intimacy, Fellatio, Kama Sutra/Sexual Positions, Healthy Relationships and many more.Dr. Debra Laino is a published author. “Trolley Square”, and an Intimacy Guide titled “Love for All Eternity Guide to Intimacy.” Her book “Eleven Reasons Why Women Cheat” is currently being reviewed and is estimated to be in the book stores May 2010. Most recently she has co-authored a book with Dr. Peter Sacco titled “ Breast Envy” She is currently a columnist for Sex Appeal magazine based in Detroit.Dr. Debra Laino has appeared on television and radio, including “It’s Your Call With Lynn Doyle”, NBC "The 10 Show," Playboy Radio, WKEST San Francisco Talk Therapy, Rowen Radio 89.7, and various radio shows across the country, and is currently the host of an infomercial discussing “Love For All Eternity” a book written by one of her business partners, RK Relan. She is the former host of Raw Sex on WNJC New Jersey 1360 am and continues that show on Goom Radio on Saturday nights.
Dr. Debra Laino DHS, M.ED, MS holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, CA, a Masters Degree in Education from Widener University in Chester, PA, and a Masters Degree in Psychology from Capella University in Minneapolis, MN. She has over ten years of professional experience.Dr. Debra Laino is Board Certified by the American College of Sexologists and Diplomate of The American Board of Sexology. In addition she is an AASECT certified Sexuality Educator.Dr. Debra Laino has conducted countless workshops on topics such as Issues in Sex Therapy, Cancer and Intimacy, Fellatio, Kama Sutra/Sexual Positions, Healthy Relationships and many more.Dr. Debra Laino is a published author. “Trolley Square”, and an Intimacy Guide titled “Love for All Eternity Guide to Intimacy.” Her book “Eleven Reasons Why Women Cheat” is currently being reviewed and is estimated to be in the book stores May 2010. Most recently she has co-authored a book with Dr. Peter Sacco titled “ Breast Envy” She is currently a columnist for Sex Appeal magazine based in Detroit.Dr. Debra Laino has appeared on television and radio, including “It’s Your Call With Lynn Doyle”, NBC "The 10 Show," Playboy Radio, WKEST San Francisco Talk Therapy, Rowen Radio 89.7, and various radio shows across the country, and is currently the host of an infomercial discussing “Love For All Eternity” a book written by one of her business partners, RK Relan. She is the former host of Raw Sex on WNJC New Jersey 1360 am and continues that show on Goom Radio on Saturday nights.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Free RESET My Marriage and Relationship Teleseminar 8pm
TONIGHT, 8pm You are in for it now! Please tune in as we continue RESET My Marriage and Relationship Teleseminar, with The One, The Only, Darrell Freeman-#2 on Google's Top Ten List! He's sought after by everyone with his hot topic, www.howmenthinktoday.com He's on tonight and this guy is RAW with his on SEX and Relationships! Let's see what he gots to say: 712-432-0075 484482#
Check out www.howmenthinktoday.com, Darrell discusses how men think about love, relationships, sex, and he believes if we understand men, we can attract the Right man! and make ways to transform our current men into the Man of our Dreams! Too good to be true? Men, do you think that's possible for us to understand and know you? Well,
Tune in tonight! 8pm! All comments and opinions welcome......
Darrell V. Freeman has a B.S. degree from West Chester University, a M.A. degree from Moody Graduate School and is a graduate of the Philadelphia College of Bible. He also studied in the Dallas Theological Seminary Continuing Education Program. Darrell is employed at Professional Counseling Resources, Inc. as Program Coordinator/Relationship Trainer and the Director of Training for the Mentoring Children of Prisoners Program (MCP). He facilitates a Free 8 Week Relationship Makeover Workshop designed for adult married, engaged, romantically involved couples and fathers to help them develop the skills to build a satisfying, stable and healthy relationship with their significant other and/or children. He also trains the Staff and Mentors who are mentoring the children of those who are in prison to help establish healthy friendships towards a healthy life of personal growth. Freeman is a traveling preacher, teacher and speaker throughout the country for over 23 years. Darrell is owner of his soul food restaurant: Soul to Soul Café, and President and Founder of DVF Enterprises and DVF Publishing.
C Ya!
Sarah L.
Check out www.howmenthinktoday.com, Darrell discusses how men think about love, relationships, sex, and he believes if we understand men, we can attract the Right man! and make ways to transform our current men into the Man of our Dreams! Too good to be true? Men, do you think that's possible for us to understand and know you? Well,
Tune in tonight! 8pm! All comments and opinions welcome......
Darrell V. Freeman has a B.S. degree from West Chester University, a M.A. degree from Moody Graduate School and is a graduate of the Philadelphia College of Bible. He also studied in the Dallas Theological Seminary Continuing Education Program. Darrell is employed at Professional Counseling Resources, Inc. as Program Coordinator/Relationship Trainer and the Director of Training for the Mentoring Children of Prisoners Program (MCP). He facilitates a Free 8 Week Relationship Makeover Workshop designed for adult married, engaged, romantically involved couples and fathers to help them develop the skills to build a satisfying, stable and healthy relationship with their significant other and/or children. He also trains the Staff and Mentors who are mentoring the children of those who are in prison to help establish healthy friendships towards a healthy life of personal growth. Freeman is a traveling preacher, teacher and speaker throughout the country for over 23 years. Darrell is owner of his soul food restaurant: Soul to Soul Café, and President and Founder of DVF Enterprises and DVF Publishing.
C Ya!
Sarah L.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
2nd RESET My Marriage and Relationship Teleseminar 5/27 at 8pm!
Reminder of the 2nd Teleseminar tomorrow night, Thursday, May 27th, 2010 at 8pm. 712-432-0075 Access Code 484482#.
I want to welcome Dr. Rev. Sheldon Nix, PH.D.
Dr. Sheldon Nix is a native of Wilmington, Delaware. He earned a B.A. from Princeton University, a Masters of Social Work from Hunter College School of Social Work in New York City, and earned the Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Michigan State University. He has also received over 10 years of training in life coaching and small business coaching/management from Coach University, the Graduate School of Coaching (now CoachVille) and the E-Myth Mastery small business coaching program.Dr. Nix is Senior Pastor of Life Worth Living Fellowship (www.lwlf.org) in Wilmington, Delaware. Previously, Dr. Nix for 15 years was a (tenured) Associate Professor of counseling at Eastern University in St. Davids, PA, and chaired the Department of Counseling and served as a college therapist. As a coach and consultant, Dr. Nix has consulted with various kinds and sizes of organizations around the country on strategic planning, program/service design, business development, and staff development/human asset maximization. Dr. Nix is the Founder and President of Project Manhood (www.projectmanhood.org), a program that coaches men in developing an extraordinary life and also helps them reach boys. Dr. Nix is also the author of two published books, Let the Journey Begin: A comprehensive curriculum for leading African American boys down the road to manhood, AND Becoming Effective Fathers and Mentors: A guide to prepare men for the task of mentoring and fathering African American boys. He is married to Jacqueline Greenidge Nix, M.B.A., and has three fabulous daughters: Naomi, Kalyn, and Katrina.
Please call in tomorrow 712-432-0075 Access Code 484482# as he is truly a wealth of info he is just waiting to share on How to RENEW your Marriage and Relationship. Don't want to miss this folks!
Talk to you Then.....
Sarah L.
I want to welcome Dr. Rev. Sheldon Nix, PH.D.
Dr. Sheldon Nix is a native of Wilmington, Delaware. He earned a B.A. from Princeton University, a Masters of Social Work from Hunter College School of Social Work in New York City, and earned the Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Michigan State University. He has also received over 10 years of training in life coaching and small business coaching/management from Coach University, the Graduate School of Coaching (now CoachVille) and the E-Myth Mastery small business coaching program.Dr. Nix is Senior Pastor of Life Worth Living Fellowship (www.lwlf.org) in Wilmington, Delaware. Previously, Dr. Nix for 15 years was a (tenured) Associate Professor of counseling at Eastern University in St. Davids, PA, and chaired the Department of Counseling and served as a college therapist. As a coach and consultant, Dr. Nix has consulted with various kinds and sizes of organizations around the country on strategic planning, program/service design, business development, and staff development/human asset maximization. Dr. Nix is the Founder and President of Project Manhood (www.projectmanhood.org), a program that coaches men in developing an extraordinary life and also helps them reach boys. Dr. Nix is also the author of two published books, Let the Journey Begin: A comprehensive curriculum for leading African American boys down the road to manhood, AND Becoming Effective Fathers and Mentors: A guide to prepare men for the task of mentoring and fathering African American boys. He is married to Jacqueline Greenidge Nix, M.B.A., and has three fabulous daughters: Naomi, Kalyn, and Katrina.
Please call in tomorrow 712-432-0075 Access Code 484482# as he is truly a wealth of info he is just waiting to share on How to RENEW your Marriage and Relationship. Don't want to miss this folks!
Talk to you Then.....
Sarah L.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
How to Cope Without Mom on Mother's Day
I was interviewed on the topic How to Have a Happy Mother's Day without Your Mother. Although Mother's Day will be Celebrated on 5/9/2010, there will be many mothers and others enduring this day without their own mom. It can be difficult seeing others celebrating their moms, while you go into a grieving, depressed state, which is quite natural and normal, because you are sad that your mom isn't around for you to celebrate. I want to help you on how to still endure and have a good mother's day. May this bless you....
What advice do you typically give folks who are grieving the loss of a mother?
•First, I explain the signs and symptoms of depression due to a loss. Depression can occur when one is overwhelmed by grief of the loss , affecting one’s way of normal functioning. Grief is different than depression in that grief refers to one’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior when someone had loss their love one. Depression affects mood and can continue to occur particularly around certain times of the year, one being Mother’s day if they had loss their mother. Therefore, I usually inform my clients to pay attention to how they are feeling and reacting to notice the frequency and severity of their reactions. If they are constantly feeling about the loss of their mom, withdraw from love ones and their usual routine, consistent feeling of sadness, anger, hopelessness or helplessness, or worse, such as suicidal thoughts or thoughts of dying, then I encourage them to continue counseling, possibly med management coupled with psychotherapy until the person has a better handle on their feelings and on the loss.
•Now if one’s responses are not as serious as previously mentioned, I first normalize the process of their feelings. It is normal to be sad, angry, happy, have mixed mood and feelings as you trying to cope with Mother’s Day without Mom. I then have my clients acknowledge and embrace their thoughts and feelings to continue normalizing their feelings of loss. Feelings can range and fluctuate, and it is perfectly normal, so people need to know that despite the number of years it has been since their mother’s passing. The memories and the feelings associated with the departed love one can all come flooding back especially around holidays like Mother’s Day, their Mom’s Birthday, the individual’s own birthday, so initially it is to ensure that the person knows it is normal and okay to embrace one’s mixed feelings over their mother’s passing.
Overall...
•Accept that it is normal to feel sad or depressed during your time of lost, especially during holidays.
•You may not experience any feelings of sadness, or you can have mixed feelings. Again, it is still normal.
•Monitor your feelings, thoughts, and mood during Mother’s Day.
•Attend to your own needs and allow time to process grief or sadness.
•Limit your drinking and eating, excessive drinking and eating can contribute to depression and associated guilt.
•Get together with others and share memories of Mom’s favorite story, song, poem and make it tradition.
•Spend time around the ones who care about you.
•Visiting a nursing home, or other ‘mothers’ in your family during Mother’s Day
•Join or start a support group
•Volunteer your time and services being active for a cause
•Writing a letter to your departed helps to express any words and thoughts you believed you didn’t have a chance to express
•Praying also helps.
•It is not just one thing, but it could be a combo of all of these or other ways that mentioned here in how to Cope with the Loss of Mother during Mother’s Day.
What tips can you give people who get sad or depressed during Mother's Day because their mom is no longer with them?
• Similar to a blog I had written in December called Dealing with the Holiday Blues, I would reiterate that it is normal to feel sad and depressed during Mother’s Day because one is lamenting over their mother not being around.
•I also would reiterate to embrace their feelings and acknowledge their emotions during Mother’s Day. The feelings are valid and real, yet be patient with yourself during the process, no matter how many years it’s been since your Mom’s passing.
•I suggest that one seeks out other loved ones on that day, finding relatives and friends who understands and empathizes with your feelings of loss.
•Accept that you have to continue to live. It takes strength and courage to live and adjust yourself after a loss. So determine that you are going to keep it moving and make you and your mom proud.
•Next, Attend to yourself for the moment. Take time to reflect and even if you need a moment of silence to yourself during Mother’s day, it is okay, so long as you don’t remain isolated and withdrawn from others throughout the day.
•Maintain your health. Make sure you don’t become dependent on excessive drinking and medication or even doing illicit drugs as ways to cope. That decision can make things worse.
•Seek professional help. I always tell my clients how impressed and commendable it is for them to seek and actually go to counseling, because it is a sign of strength, not weakness. So if one can’t cope alone, that’s what Counselors like myself are here for!
•Lastly, help others through their depressed state if you can. When we put our energies towards something constructive and it can benefit others, it is a good feeling booster. Forming support groups to share your sorrow, experience, and ways for you and others to appropriately cope during Mother’s Day is such a great thing by all accounts, in that you move towards healing and restoration, while helpings other become healed and restored.
Would you say it's better to act as if Mother's Day is simply any other day? Or should a person take time out to honor their mother? Please explain.
Actually, whatever works best for an individual, as long as it is appropriate and doesn’t affect theirs or others well being, is perfectly fine. Everyone reacts and copes differently, the one who goes on as Mother’s Day being another day may work well for that individual. For others, they may need to pay respects to their Mother every Mother’s day. That is okay, too. The goals are to know how to cope and to return to a state of well being and normal functioning. Those who have not suffered the loss of their mom need to be patient and sensitive with those affected by the loss of theirs during Mother’s Day. Remember, everyone processes, copes, and reacts differently, and when one is ready to embrace and acknowledge their feelings, and can move on appropriately, we should be there supporting and encouraging their progress.
What are ways people can honor their deceased mother during Mother's Day?
Create new traditions for a new type of remembrance, such as the family coming over every mother’s day and share a story, poem, song, recipe, etc. of Mom’s.
Create a memorial in your mother’s name, whether a vigil, online memorial, etc.
Create a foundation in Mom’s name on behalf of a cause, like Mary Smith Foundation for Breast Cancer Research, or participate in an established one, such as Race for a Cure, Memory Walk.
Keeping Mom’s traditions alive, such as saying good morning and good evening to every person you pass.
Visiting your mother’s gravesite and planting fresh flowers there.
Again, this is not an exhaustive list. Those reading can take these suggestions and add their own and circulate these with others!
Can you shed some light on how coping with the loss of a mother may be different for people with children of their own vs. those who are childless.
The following coping strategies are universal: normalization appropriate feelings, behaviors, and actions, acceptance, and acknowledgement of feelings, and patience with themselves during Mother’s Day. Utilizing professional counseling is also another universal way to cope. Specifically, other coping strategies may be different between the childless and those with children.
•Those who are childless due to loss of their own child are likely more depressed as they grieve double losses. The person doesn’t have their mom to lean on over the loss of their child, and the person doesn’t have their child to look to as comfort over the loss of their mom. Ways of coping for this particular individual, besides the universal ways to cope, are doing memorials, foundations, joining support groups, seeking spiritual guidance and comfort, being around love ones, having time to process their feelings and thoughts, and allowing time and patience to grieve are starters. Again, seeking Professional help for grief counseling is also ideal.
•For those who are childless because they never had children may already feel shame or guilt of not having children, adding more guilt and shame for their inability to relate or identify with their departed Mom as a parent. Moreover, these individuals may wish they had a child that they can pour their love into and pass down traditions and legacies Mom passed to them. So for these individuals, ways of coping besides the universal ways, are accepting and acknowledging their current state of being without children and to embrace that it doesn’t make them any less of a person than those who do have children, and knowing that they have the ability to change their current state such as through adoption or foster care.
•Those who have children may cope with their mother’s loss by pouring their energy and time into their children, finding comfort in passing Mom’s legacy and traditions, and appreciating probable glimpses of their mother’s characteristics and features in their children.
Additional Comments:
Understanding, embracing, acknowledging, and accepting your responses, emotions, and thoughts during your loss is the best first steps in coping and maintaining on Mother’s Day and everyday. It does take time and patience, so be patient with yourself, give yourself time, and appreciate the good times spent with Mom. She may not be physically with you, but her memory and legacy lives on, In and Through You!
What advice do you typically give folks who are grieving the loss of a mother?
•First, I explain the signs and symptoms of depression due to a loss. Depression can occur when one is overwhelmed by grief of the loss , affecting one’s way of normal functioning. Grief is different than depression in that grief refers to one’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior when someone had loss their love one. Depression affects mood and can continue to occur particularly around certain times of the year, one being Mother’s day if they had loss their mother. Therefore, I usually inform my clients to pay attention to how they are feeling and reacting to notice the frequency and severity of their reactions. If they are constantly feeling about the loss of their mom, withdraw from love ones and their usual routine, consistent feeling of sadness, anger, hopelessness or helplessness, or worse, such as suicidal thoughts or thoughts of dying, then I encourage them to continue counseling, possibly med management coupled with psychotherapy until the person has a better handle on their feelings and on the loss.
•Now if one’s responses are not as serious as previously mentioned, I first normalize the process of their feelings. It is normal to be sad, angry, happy, have mixed mood and feelings as you trying to cope with Mother’s Day without Mom. I then have my clients acknowledge and embrace their thoughts and feelings to continue normalizing their feelings of loss. Feelings can range and fluctuate, and it is perfectly normal, so people need to know that despite the number of years it has been since their mother’s passing. The memories and the feelings associated with the departed love one can all come flooding back especially around holidays like Mother’s Day, their Mom’s Birthday, the individual’s own birthday, so initially it is to ensure that the person knows it is normal and okay to embrace one’s mixed feelings over their mother’s passing.
Overall...
•Accept that it is normal to feel sad or depressed during your time of lost, especially during holidays.
•You may not experience any feelings of sadness, or you can have mixed feelings. Again, it is still normal.
•Monitor your feelings, thoughts, and mood during Mother’s Day.
•Attend to your own needs and allow time to process grief or sadness.
•Limit your drinking and eating, excessive drinking and eating can contribute to depression and associated guilt.
•Get together with others and share memories of Mom’s favorite story, song, poem and make it tradition.
•Spend time around the ones who care about you.
•Visiting a nursing home, or other ‘mothers’ in your family during Mother’s Day
•Join or start a support group
•Volunteer your time and services being active for a cause
•Writing a letter to your departed helps to express any words and thoughts you believed you didn’t have a chance to express
•Praying also helps.
•It is not just one thing, but it could be a combo of all of these or other ways that mentioned here in how to Cope with the Loss of Mother during Mother’s Day.
What tips can you give people who get sad or depressed during Mother's Day because their mom is no longer with them?
• Similar to a blog I had written in December called Dealing with the Holiday Blues, I would reiterate that it is normal to feel sad and depressed during Mother’s Day because one is lamenting over their mother not being around.
•I also would reiterate to embrace their feelings and acknowledge their emotions during Mother’s Day. The feelings are valid and real, yet be patient with yourself during the process, no matter how many years it’s been since your Mom’s passing.
•I suggest that one seeks out other loved ones on that day, finding relatives and friends who understands and empathizes with your feelings of loss.
•Accept that you have to continue to live. It takes strength and courage to live and adjust yourself after a loss. So determine that you are going to keep it moving and make you and your mom proud.
•Next, Attend to yourself for the moment. Take time to reflect and even if you need a moment of silence to yourself during Mother’s day, it is okay, so long as you don’t remain isolated and withdrawn from others throughout the day.
•Maintain your health. Make sure you don’t become dependent on excessive drinking and medication or even doing illicit drugs as ways to cope. That decision can make things worse.
•Seek professional help. I always tell my clients how impressed and commendable it is for them to seek and actually go to counseling, because it is a sign of strength, not weakness. So if one can’t cope alone, that’s what Counselors like myself are here for!
•Lastly, help others through their depressed state if you can. When we put our energies towards something constructive and it can benefit others, it is a good feeling booster. Forming support groups to share your sorrow, experience, and ways for you and others to appropriately cope during Mother’s Day is such a great thing by all accounts, in that you move towards healing and restoration, while helpings other become healed and restored.
Would you say it's better to act as if Mother's Day is simply any other day? Or should a person take time out to honor their mother? Please explain.
Actually, whatever works best for an individual, as long as it is appropriate and doesn’t affect theirs or others well being, is perfectly fine. Everyone reacts and copes differently, the one who goes on as Mother’s Day being another day may work well for that individual. For others, they may need to pay respects to their Mother every Mother’s day. That is okay, too. The goals are to know how to cope and to return to a state of well being and normal functioning. Those who have not suffered the loss of their mom need to be patient and sensitive with those affected by the loss of theirs during Mother’s Day. Remember, everyone processes, copes, and reacts differently, and when one is ready to embrace and acknowledge their feelings, and can move on appropriately, we should be there supporting and encouraging their progress.
What are ways people can honor their deceased mother during Mother's Day?
Create new traditions for a new type of remembrance, such as the family coming over every mother’s day and share a story, poem, song, recipe, etc. of Mom’s.
Create a memorial in your mother’s name, whether a vigil, online memorial, etc.
Create a foundation in Mom’s name on behalf of a cause, like Mary Smith Foundation for Breast Cancer Research, or participate in an established one, such as Race for a Cure, Memory Walk.
Keeping Mom’s traditions alive, such as saying good morning and good evening to every person you pass.
Visiting your mother’s gravesite and planting fresh flowers there.
Again, this is not an exhaustive list. Those reading can take these suggestions and add their own and circulate these with others!
Can you shed some light on how coping with the loss of a mother may be different for people with children of their own vs. those who are childless.
The following coping strategies are universal: normalization appropriate feelings, behaviors, and actions, acceptance, and acknowledgement of feelings, and patience with themselves during Mother’s Day. Utilizing professional counseling is also another universal way to cope. Specifically, other coping strategies may be different between the childless and those with children.
•Those who are childless due to loss of their own child are likely more depressed as they grieve double losses. The person doesn’t have their mom to lean on over the loss of their child, and the person doesn’t have their child to look to as comfort over the loss of their mom. Ways of coping for this particular individual, besides the universal ways to cope, are doing memorials, foundations, joining support groups, seeking spiritual guidance and comfort, being around love ones, having time to process their feelings and thoughts, and allowing time and patience to grieve are starters. Again, seeking Professional help for grief counseling is also ideal.
•For those who are childless because they never had children may already feel shame or guilt of not having children, adding more guilt and shame for their inability to relate or identify with their departed Mom as a parent. Moreover, these individuals may wish they had a child that they can pour their love into and pass down traditions and legacies Mom passed to them. So for these individuals, ways of coping besides the universal ways, are accepting and acknowledging their current state of being without children and to embrace that it doesn’t make them any less of a person than those who do have children, and knowing that they have the ability to change their current state such as through adoption or foster care.
•Those who have children may cope with their mother’s loss by pouring their energy and time into their children, finding comfort in passing Mom’s legacy and traditions, and appreciating probable glimpses of their mother’s characteristics and features in their children.
Additional Comments:
Understanding, embracing, acknowledging, and accepting your responses, emotions, and thoughts during your loss is the best first steps in coping and maintaining on Mother’s Day and everyday. It does take time and patience, so be patient with yourself, give yourself time, and appreciate the good times spent with Mom. She may not be physically with you, but her memory and legacy lives on, In and Through You!
Friday, April 16, 2010
5 Healthy Tips for Connecting in Your Interpersonal Relationships
I was thinking back on my relationships, the good, bad, and the in-between! I realized that over the years, I constantly evolved and have had different perspectives on the type of relationship I wanted to be in, not only with those of the opposite sex, but with friends as well.
I concluded that as I grew older, wiser, and more experienced in interpersonal relationships, relationships with others became more pronounced and more defined. I remember being a teenager, the boys would tell me they couldn't be in a relationship with me because my standards were too high, I was too intelligent, and seemed so serious. Well, they were correct! I had a goal and purpose to fulfill, but it was rather lonely being alone! So I began 'lowering' my standards to attempt connection with these particular boys. Oh, How Frustrating it was! It was nothing against the boys, it was that we simply were not a match. My perspectives and pursuits were different than theirs. When I thought I could 'change' them and vice versa, it made my dating relationships go sour, ending in anger, bitterness, and disrespect. I felt I wasted my time 'lowering' my standards, but seemingly did not know how to get back to where I once was in my simply being myself.
I had individuals of authority and position in my life shape my view and perspective, but it was based on their own values and views. Meaning, some women felt that my standards were too high and I should meet individuals where they were. Interestingly, some of the men in my life encouraged me to keep my standards high and be in position to be found. Be found? Meaning, I will attract the 'right' individuals who are on my level. Wow! And the men were right!
With all that said, I want to leave you with 5 Healthy Tips when developing Your Interpersonal Relationships, which really holds true as standard principles throughout any of your relationships, i.e. business, partnerships, love, family, friendships, etc.
1. Know and Connect with yourself First!
When you have a better understanding of who you are, what you want, it makes it easier with your connection with others, and what your boundaries are, and what you are willing to tolerate in your life.
2. Set Your Standards HIGH!
Why not? Were you suppose to connect with those people in the first place? You have to get out of your circle if you are smarter and/or have greater pursuits than them. Why? To keep you thirsting, driven, and hungry for more, and those particular people in that circle with similar goals and pursuits keep you sharp and determined to go higher. It is about commonalities and similarities to help you grow overall. Others should step up and meet you where you are, not you 'dummy down' to where they are! (Not calling anyone dummies!)
3. Know what part they play in your life.
It can be a hard transition from one phase of life to the next. The same friends you grew up with you may have lost that once strong connection, or you may still have a connection, you simply may not have much in common at this point. It's okay. We need to recognize the position one play in our lives, whether it was for a time, purpose, reason, or season. The person may have only been in your life when you needed a push to the next level. That person had done that, and is no longer needed in your life. That door closes for another to open. It's like getting married. You leave your immediate family to start your own. Your parents served their purpose in growth and development, so you took what you learned to develop your own immediate family. You have to take what you learned from that individual and keep going. But recognize the purpose of those individuals in your life. Some may be in your life for a life time....just know why they are in your life!
4. Checks and Balances, Benefits and Deficits
In knowing yourself, you know what you need in your life and what you don't need in your life. In other words, you heard the saying: Take in the Meat, and Spit Out the Bones! If you see that you are not propelling based on your connection with certain folks, and indeed falling back, stagnant, or complacent, it may just be time to cut it off! Even if it hurts, your pursuits and goals are more important! Hard pill to swallow, but the relationship you have with that person or persons has changed, shifted, or has reached the end of the line. Do what you have to do to stay afloat and soaring.
5. Doing Different to Get Different Result.
This is my favorite line I need to patent! You may need to change! Not to contradict number 1 or 2, but you may need to show yourself friendly to attract the right folks, too! You may need to change your view for the better, not for somone! In other words, it is a two-way street, be relevant and helpful to someone else! Help them soar, encourage them, be a benefit and asset in your connections to others, not merely expecting others to be the sole assets in the relationship! You may need to step up in your relevancy, such as getting more educated, going to different functions and affairs you never been, like an art exhibit, speed dating, horseback riding, lecture, anything you normally would not do. Be eclectic, lover of life and of finer things. It helps move out of normalcy and into a well versed state of mind! You will then see others with like interests gravitate to you, and maybe even inspire others to enhance, too!
You will see a different result when you apply these new different ways of Connecting in Interpersonal Relationships!
I concluded that as I grew older, wiser, and more experienced in interpersonal relationships, relationships with others became more pronounced and more defined. I remember being a teenager, the boys would tell me they couldn't be in a relationship with me because my standards were too high, I was too intelligent, and seemed so serious. Well, they were correct! I had a goal and purpose to fulfill, but it was rather lonely being alone! So I began 'lowering' my standards to attempt connection with these particular boys. Oh, How Frustrating it was! It was nothing against the boys, it was that we simply were not a match. My perspectives and pursuits were different than theirs. When I thought I could 'change' them and vice versa, it made my dating relationships go sour, ending in anger, bitterness, and disrespect. I felt I wasted my time 'lowering' my standards, but seemingly did not know how to get back to where I once was in my simply being myself.
I had individuals of authority and position in my life shape my view and perspective, but it was based on their own values and views. Meaning, some women felt that my standards were too high and I should meet individuals where they were. Interestingly, some of the men in my life encouraged me to keep my standards high and be in position to be found. Be found? Meaning, I will attract the 'right' individuals who are on my level. Wow! And the men were right!
With all that said, I want to leave you with 5 Healthy Tips when developing Your Interpersonal Relationships, which really holds true as standard principles throughout any of your relationships, i.e. business, partnerships, love, family, friendships, etc.
1. Know and Connect with yourself First!
When you have a better understanding of who you are, what you want, it makes it easier with your connection with others, and what your boundaries are, and what you are willing to tolerate in your life.
2. Set Your Standards HIGH!
Why not? Were you suppose to connect with those people in the first place? You have to get out of your circle if you are smarter and/or have greater pursuits than them. Why? To keep you thirsting, driven, and hungry for more, and those particular people in that circle with similar goals and pursuits keep you sharp and determined to go higher. It is about commonalities and similarities to help you grow overall. Others should step up and meet you where you are, not you 'dummy down' to where they are! (Not calling anyone dummies!)
3. Know what part they play in your life.
It can be a hard transition from one phase of life to the next. The same friends you grew up with you may have lost that once strong connection, or you may still have a connection, you simply may not have much in common at this point. It's okay. We need to recognize the position one play in our lives, whether it was for a time, purpose, reason, or season. The person may have only been in your life when you needed a push to the next level. That person had done that, and is no longer needed in your life. That door closes for another to open. It's like getting married. You leave your immediate family to start your own. Your parents served their purpose in growth and development, so you took what you learned to develop your own immediate family. You have to take what you learned from that individual and keep going. But recognize the purpose of those individuals in your life. Some may be in your life for a life time....just know why they are in your life!
4. Checks and Balances, Benefits and Deficits
In knowing yourself, you know what you need in your life and what you don't need in your life. In other words, you heard the saying: Take in the Meat, and Spit Out the Bones! If you see that you are not propelling based on your connection with certain folks, and indeed falling back, stagnant, or complacent, it may just be time to cut it off! Even if it hurts, your pursuits and goals are more important! Hard pill to swallow, but the relationship you have with that person or persons has changed, shifted, or has reached the end of the line. Do what you have to do to stay afloat and soaring.
5. Doing Different to Get Different Result.
This is my favorite line I need to patent! You may need to change! Not to contradict number 1 or 2, but you may need to show yourself friendly to attract the right folks, too! You may need to change your view for the better, not for somone! In other words, it is a two-way street, be relevant and helpful to someone else! Help them soar, encourage them, be a benefit and asset in your connections to others, not merely expecting others to be the sole assets in the relationship! You may need to step up in your relevancy, such as getting more educated, going to different functions and affairs you never been, like an art exhibit, speed dating, horseback riding, lecture, anything you normally would not do. Be eclectic, lover of life and of finer things. It helps move out of normalcy and into a well versed state of mind! You will then see others with like interests gravitate to you, and maybe even inspire others to enhance, too!
You will see a different result when you apply these new different ways of Connecting in Interpersonal Relationships!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
20 SURE WAYS OF HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR PERSONAL GROWTH IN THE '10!
SIMPLY PUT, THINK, WILL, AND DO whatever necessary that will be conducive to your growth-in all three areas, mind body and spirit.
1. When we grow ourselves, it is for others!
A. We impact and impart in folks all the time in The position within their lives
2. SET GOALS-SMART SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ATTAINABLE, RELEVANT, TIME
3. EVALUATE AND REEVALUATE ONCE EVERY THREE MONTHS OR SO,
a. Make criteria relevant YOU, OTHERS IN YOUR LIFE, PLACES, THINGS, ETC.
4. ACCEPT THE THINGS YOU CANT CHANGE, LIKE PEOPLE AND LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES
A. Obstacles and circumstances come, so accept it, deal with it manage it and keep it moving! Don’t stop there!
B. HAVE HATERS! IF YOU DON’T YOU ARE NOT DOING SOMETHING RIGHT
C. Use What they say to your ADVANTAGE-prove them wrong and right!
5. SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS, DREAMS, DESIRES, GOALS HIGH!
A. Don’t dummy down to walk with the pigeons and turkeys when you’re an EAGLE!
6. LET GO OF FOLKS WHO DON’T WANT TO GO UP!
7. BE HONEST AND OPEN WITH YOURSELF and EMBRACE matters! Go thru it so you don’t have to go thru it anymore or so that you are used to the results of going thru the situation.
A. Areas of concern, its okay we all have them not alone.
8. GET Involved in things that supplements your worth!
A. Being a volunteer, mentor, teacher over things you’re good at!
9. BE POSITIVE, Start accepting acceptable things about you! Be around positivity whenever possible! SET POSITIVE THINGS AROUND YOUR HOME, QUOTES, SAYINGS, speak to yourself in the mirror before leaving the house positive things and what you want your day to be like!
A. Join the party, everybody else saying things about you, why you not?
10. Believe in yourself that you have something to bring to this earth, you are here for a reason.
11. Don’t be INSANE! Doing the same thing expecting a different result!
A. Do something you never done to get something you never had!
12. Celebrate YOU! Your successes,
13. Have friends to hold you accountable looking for your best interests at heart!
14. SELF CARE-discover your likes your dislikes, DO what you can until you are able to do more.
15. Recognize your current limitations –SET BOUNDARIES
16. Don’t take on more than you can chew! At present, break down for it to be less overwhelming and more attainable!
17. Journal your successes to have something to reference and encourage you thru
18. This is about others! Write Books!
19. Focus on the goal not the people or what you think you don’t posses!
A. Simply put yourself in that place to posses things you need to get to the next level
20. REMEMBER WE ARE GROWING ALL THE TIME, EVERYDAY ISNT A GREAT DAY, BUT IT SURE IS A LEARNING DAY!
FOR OVERALL PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT, EVALUATE YOURSELF ,
MIND ---HOW ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT YOU, OTHERS, WORLD
BODY---HEALTH AND WELLNESS, EXERCISING CHECKUPS, EATING RIGHT, DOING ALL BEEN TOLD BY YOUR DOCTOR TO MAINTAIN HEALTH
SPIRIT---TAP INTO YOUR INNER SELF, meditation, reflection, journal
Be patient with yourself. It’s a process. You didn’t get this way overnight, you not where you want to be but you not where you are! You know when you are on the right track of personal growth when you flow effortlessly and stuff don’t affect you like it did or doesn’t have a hold on you ANYMORE !
Today is the first day of the rest of your life IF YOU TURNED INTO A DOER NOW!
CHARACTER: WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS THEY BECOME YOUR WORDS, WATCH YOUR WORDS THEY BECOME YOUR ACTIONS, WATCH YOUR ACTIONS THEY BECOME YOUR HABITS WATCH YOUR HABITS THEY BECOME YOUR CHARACTER WATCH YOUR CHARACTER IT BECOMES YOUR DESTINY.-ANONYMOUS
1. When we grow ourselves, it is for others!
A. We impact and impart in folks all the time in The position within their lives
2. SET GOALS-SMART SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ATTAINABLE, RELEVANT, TIME
3. EVALUATE AND REEVALUATE ONCE EVERY THREE MONTHS OR SO,
a. Make criteria relevant YOU, OTHERS IN YOUR LIFE, PLACES, THINGS, ETC.
4. ACCEPT THE THINGS YOU CANT CHANGE, LIKE PEOPLE AND LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES
A. Obstacles and circumstances come, so accept it, deal with it manage it and keep it moving! Don’t stop there!
B. HAVE HATERS! IF YOU DON’T YOU ARE NOT DOING SOMETHING RIGHT
C. Use What they say to your ADVANTAGE-prove them wrong and right!
5. SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS, DREAMS, DESIRES, GOALS HIGH!
A. Don’t dummy down to walk with the pigeons and turkeys when you’re an EAGLE!
6. LET GO OF FOLKS WHO DON’T WANT TO GO UP!
7. BE HONEST AND OPEN WITH YOURSELF and EMBRACE matters! Go thru it so you don’t have to go thru it anymore or so that you are used to the results of going thru the situation.
A. Areas of concern, its okay we all have them not alone.
8. GET Involved in things that supplements your worth!
A. Being a volunteer, mentor, teacher over things you’re good at!
9. BE POSITIVE, Start accepting acceptable things about you! Be around positivity whenever possible! SET POSITIVE THINGS AROUND YOUR HOME, QUOTES, SAYINGS, speak to yourself in the mirror before leaving the house positive things and what you want your day to be like!
A. Join the party, everybody else saying things about you, why you not?
10. Believe in yourself that you have something to bring to this earth, you are here for a reason.
11. Don’t be INSANE! Doing the same thing expecting a different result!
A. Do something you never done to get something you never had!
12. Celebrate YOU! Your successes,
13. Have friends to hold you accountable looking for your best interests at heart!
14. SELF CARE-discover your likes your dislikes, DO what you can until you are able to do more.
15. Recognize your current limitations –SET BOUNDARIES
16. Don’t take on more than you can chew! At present, break down for it to be less overwhelming and more attainable!
17. Journal your successes to have something to reference and encourage you thru
18. This is about others! Write Books!
19. Focus on the goal not the people or what you think you don’t posses!
A. Simply put yourself in that place to posses things you need to get to the next level
20. REMEMBER WE ARE GROWING ALL THE TIME, EVERYDAY ISNT A GREAT DAY, BUT IT SURE IS A LEARNING DAY!
FOR OVERALL PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT, EVALUATE YOURSELF ,
MIND ---HOW ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT YOU, OTHERS, WORLD
BODY---HEALTH AND WELLNESS, EXERCISING CHECKUPS, EATING RIGHT, DOING ALL BEEN TOLD BY YOUR DOCTOR TO MAINTAIN HEALTH
SPIRIT---TAP INTO YOUR INNER SELF, meditation, reflection, journal
Be patient with yourself. It’s a process. You didn’t get this way overnight, you not where you want to be but you not where you are! You know when you are on the right track of personal growth when you flow effortlessly and stuff don’t affect you like it did or doesn’t have a hold on you ANYMORE !
Today is the first day of the rest of your life IF YOU TURNED INTO A DOER NOW!
CHARACTER: WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS THEY BECOME YOUR WORDS, WATCH YOUR WORDS THEY BECOME YOUR ACTIONS, WATCH YOUR ACTIONS THEY BECOME YOUR HABITS WATCH YOUR HABITS THEY BECOME YOUR CHARACTER WATCH YOUR CHARACTER IT BECOMES YOUR DESTINY.-ANONYMOUS
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Techs and Tips on Self-Improvement in the '10
We discussed the definitions of personal development and evaluation, setting the stage to begin the work. Then we discussed how to actually evaluate and assess your growth. We will now discuss ways and strategies of self-improvement and how to personally grow.
1 .Start doing a reflection, a once a quarter check in with yourself to see any growth or stagnation.
2. Again reevaluate your criteria, you may have changed and grew since your last self-check, so make sure your criteria matches where you are.
3. DISCERN! You have that intuition, that gut feeling on things, GO WITH IT!
We are great examining everyone else, but it's challenging examining ourselves. WHY?.
Primarily, it is due to how we view and think of ourselves. With that said, we try to be someone else that seems to work for a time. But, it doesn't work for us to be like someone else other than ourselves! We are our own person, it is a matter of Discovering who you TRULY ARE!
In College I learned the Integrated Therapeutic Model, discussing the PRETTY, DESPERATE, DREADED SELF. Many times we present the Pretty self, that best foot forward image we want people to gravitate to, the Desperate Self, which we demonstrate Defense Mechanisms to supplement the image we want people to buy in, and the Dreaded self, which is the ultimate area NO ONE knows about you, as you view yourself in the most lowest form, such as feeling worthless, helpless, degradable, vulnerable, nothing, etc. With this all said, we do what is necessary to NOT let ANYONE EVER come close to our Dreaded View of Self, and pretend to be this PRETTY SELF, NOT Realizing that the Pretty Self is actually who we are! We don't have to pretend to be something we are, we need to face our fear, the lie of the Dreaded Self, acknowledging, embracing that unacceptable part. When we do, we then experience something called REFRAME, which is like Redemption! We can be okay with our good and not so good parts, accept those things about ourselves, be okay with it, so we can BECOME the Pretty Self in ACTUALITY! If you need a breakdown with this, contact me at www.info@reset-mylife.net!
To Recap, HERE IS MY PERSONAL , *NOTE this is NOT and Exhaustive list, you can always add or take away to make it fit you in A-Z LIST OF TIPS AND TECHNIQUES ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT, 2010 STYLEyour Self-Improvement Program! Enjoy!
1. MAKE IT SIMPLE FOR YOU
a. Accept where you are, what you are able to handle so you wont be overwhelmed and reluctant to change.
2. ALL THE TECHNIQUES AND TIPS TO GROW:
a. When you want to change, YOU WILL!
b. HAVE TO BE WILLING TO DO WHATS NECESSARY
c. Where we are today is Based on What we know!
d. May have to RESET self if necessary than to continue going nowhere
e. It’s okay, embrace and accept faults and mistakes, and shake it off, keep it moving.
f. Weaknesses are uncultivated strengths anyway!
g. Set your expectations and standards high!
h. Dream Big! Your Vision? Do you have one? Sure you do!
i. If it is something that is beyond you, GREAT! Start doing whats necessary to make it happen
j. Put self in position =challenge self
k. Get with those who have your answer, Steer Clear Away from ones who have your problem!
l. Let go of the deficits NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE, or at least change the amount of time you spend with them
m. START OFF SAYING TO YOURSELF YOU ARE SOMEBODY, WITH VALUE AND PURPOSE THAT NEEDS TO BE INVESTED INTO!
n. DIFFERENTIATE THOSE WHO ARE FOR YOU AND WHOSE AGAINST YOU How? By seeing who pours into your without wanting anything and its reciprocated vs. those depleting and draining you or putting you down. Even if its someone close to you! It for your sake, not there's!
o. Open the door for new things places, and people!
p. Get a Mentor that has similar interests you have!
q. Get around folks that are inspired, going places!
r. GET BOOKS READING IS TRULY FUNDAMENTAL!
s. READ LIST OF BOOKS
t. Journal! You may have answers to future problems for you and someone else!
u. STOP LOOKING AT WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE, WHO DONE YOU WRONG AND WANT TO GET BACK! FORGIVE FOR YOURSELF MOVE ON LOOK AT WHAT YOU DO POSSESS AND START THERE!
v. Forgive yourself that you not where you should be, etc. ITS NOT TOO LATE just work with what you got!
w. Because people dear to us said things about us that were bad and wrong, or we took it wrong we became that! PROVE THEM WRONG! Take in what people say nice about you
x. Recognize your uniqueness! What do you bring to the table. If nothing, then develop yourself so you can bring to the table.
y. Become what you want to attract! Example, Ladies, you want a good man, Be good yourself! You want a man making 7 figures, you should be doing the same!
z. Discover Gifts and Talents and use them!
NEXT WEEK'S LAST TOPIC ON SELF DEVELOPMENT AND EVALUATION: How to maintain growth and know when to perpetuate or continue on in your growth!
1 .Start doing a reflection, a once a quarter check in with yourself to see any growth or stagnation.
2. Again reevaluate your criteria, you may have changed and grew since your last self-check, so make sure your criteria matches where you are.
3. DISCERN! You have that intuition, that gut feeling on things, GO WITH IT!
We are great examining everyone else, but it's challenging examining ourselves. WHY?.
Primarily, it is due to how we view and think of ourselves. With that said, we try to be someone else that seems to work for a time. But, it doesn't work for us to be like someone else other than ourselves! We are our own person, it is a matter of Discovering who you TRULY ARE!
In College I learned the Integrated Therapeutic Model, discussing the PRETTY, DESPERATE, DREADED SELF. Many times we present the Pretty self, that best foot forward image we want people to gravitate to, the Desperate Self, which we demonstrate Defense Mechanisms to supplement the image we want people to buy in, and the Dreaded self, which is the ultimate area NO ONE knows about you, as you view yourself in the most lowest form, such as feeling worthless, helpless, degradable, vulnerable, nothing, etc. With this all said, we do what is necessary to NOT let ANYONE EVER come close to our Dreaded View of Self, and pretend to be this PRETTY SELF, NOT Realizing that the Pretty Self is actually who we are! We don't have to pretend to be something we are, we need to face our fear, the lie of the Dreaded Self, acknowledging, embracing that unacceptable part. When we do, we then experience something called REFRAME, which is like Redemption! We can be okay with our good and not so good parts, accept those things about ourselves, be okay with it, so we can BECOME the Pretty Self in ACTUALITY! If you need a breakdown with this, contact me at www.info@reset-mylife.net!
To Recap, HERE IS MY PERSONAL , *NOTE this is NOT and Exhaustive list, you can always add or take away to make it fit you in A-Z LIST OF TIPS AND TECHNIQUES ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT, 2010 STYLEyour Self-Improvement Program! Enjoy!
1. MAKE IT SIMPLE FOR YOU
a. Accept where you are, what you are able to handle so you wont be overwhelmed and reluctant to change.
2. ALL THE TECHNIQUES AND TIPS TO GROW:
a. When you want to change, YOU WILL!
b. HAVE TO BE WILLING TO DO WHATS NECESSARY
c. Where we are today is Based on What we know!
d. May have to RESET self if necessary than to continue going nowhere
e. It’s okay, embrace and accept faults and mistakes, and shake it off, keep it moving.
f. Weaknesses are uncultivated strengths anyway!
g. Set your expectations and standards high!
h. Dream Big! Your Vision? Do you have one? Sure you do!
i. If it is something that is beyond you, GREAT! Start doing whats necessary to make it happen
j. Put self in position =challenge self
k. Get with those who have your answer, Steer Clear Away from ones who have your problem!
l. Let go of the deficits NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE, or at least change the amount of time you spend with them
m. START OFF SAYING TO YOURSELF YOU ARE SOMEBODY, WITH VALUE AND PURPOSE THAT NEEDS TO BE INVESTED INTO!
n. DIFFERENTIATE THOSE WHO ARE FOR YOU AND WHOSE AGAINST YOU How? By seeing who pours into your without wanting anything and its reciprocated vs. those depleting and draining you or putting you down. Even if its someone close to you! It for your sake, not there's!
o. Open the door for new things places, and people!
p. Get a Mentor that has similar interests you have!
q. Get around folks that are inspired, going places!
r. GET BOOKS READING IS TRULY FUNDAMENTAL!
s. READ LIST OF BOOKS
t. Journal! You may have answers to future problems for you and someone else!
u. STOP LOOKING AT WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE, WHO DONE YOU WRONG AND WANT TO GET BACK! FORGIVE FOR YOURSELF MOVE ON LOOK AT WHAT YOU DO POSSESS AND START THERE!
v. Forgive yourself that you not where you should be, etc. ITS NOT TOO LATE just work with what you got!
w. Because people dear to us said things about us that were bad and wrong, or we took it wrong we became that! PROVE THEM WRONG! Take in what people say nice about you
x. Recognize your uniqueness! What do you bring to the table. If nothing, then develop yourself so you can bring to the table.
y. Become what you want to attract! Example, Ladies, you want a good man, Be good yourself! You want a man making 7 figures, you should be doing the same!
z. Discover Gifts and Talents and use them!
NEXT WEEK'S LAST TOPIC ON SELF DEVELOPMENT AND EVALUATION: How to maintain growth and know when to perpetuate or continue on in your growth!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Are You Really Serious in Personally Developing YOU? Part II Personal Development and Evaluation
Last week we discussed the definitions of personal development and evaluation, setting the stage to begin the work. This blog will help explore and evaluate YOU and see if you are really serious in personally developing you or you’re just lying to yourself!
By evaluating areas of growth, you need to:
1.identify those areas you are trying to grow
2. question the areas you are not growing in and what's hindering you to grow there.
3. be honest and face the facts
In the areas you see growth, identify what you are doing to see if you can apply that to the other areas you are trying to grow in. For the areas you are not seeing growth, ask yourself, why am I not growing? You may need to make some tough but well needed decisions as to the person(s), place(s), and thing(s) such as to see if they're benefits or deficits. If they are deficits, you may need to either adjust how they are in your life, or cutting off completely in order to continue the growth process! Recognize when you graduated from that person, place, or thing that got you to your different levels of growth, and how that door may need to close for the next door to open to that next level of growth! Tight but it's right!
Let us discuss how to identify challenging areas in need of growth.
It's all about Checks and Balances, Deficits and Assets.
1.Check your life and see what's a benefit and whats not.
2.Do a thorough check over every area involving your life in terms of your environment, friends, family, relationships, attitude, work, health, lifestyle, spirituality.
3.We are comprised of three elements: Mind, Body, and Spirit, and if two of the three are functioning and maintaining well, but the third is not, you are still not flowing fully in life like you could!
4.Again, it takes you being honest with yourself, determined to even look at your life in totality, and willingness to change. To face and accept change is growth and maturity! We are creatures of habit, so if change and its results are unfamiliar, we would be rather reluctant to welcome change.
5.Change also seems to cost. It calls for a 'lost' or letting go of something to make room for something unfamiliar to come in! That lost could range from adjusting your schedule to letting go of grandma!
6.Look at what, who, and where that are beneficial and what who and where that are detrimental, all for your own self-improvement! You are worth it and deserve better!
Isn’t Personal Development easy? Being facetious, it isn’t an easy task, but it is needed and well worth it for your overall optimal state of being and health. You are your own investment! Start pouring into yourself!
Check out the next blog on Helpful tips and strategies on self-improvement for an Overall Better You in the ’10!
By evaluating areas of growth, you need to:
1.identify those areas you are trying to grow
2. question the areas you are not growing in and what's hindering you to grow there.
3. be honest and face the facts
In the areas you see growth, identify what you are doing to see if you can apply that to the other areas you are trying to grow in. For the areas you are not seeing growth, ask yourself, why am I not growing? You may need to make some tough but well needed decisions as to the person(s), place(s), and thing(s) such as to see if they're benefits or deficits. If they are deficits, you may need to either adjust how they are in your life, or cutting off completely in order to continue the growth process! Recognize when you graduated from that person, place, or thing that got you to your different levels of growth, and how that door may need to close for the next door to open to that next level of growth! Tight but it's right!
Let us discuss how to identify challenging areas in need of growth.
It's all about Checks and Balances, Deficits and Assets.
1.Check your life and see what's a benefit and whats not.
2.Do a thorough check over every area involving your life in terms of your environment, friends, family, relationships, attitude, work, health, lifestyle, spirituality.
3.We are comprised of three elements: Mind, Body, and Spirit, and if two of the three are functioning and maintaining well, but the third is not, you are still not flowing fully in life like you could!
4.Again, it takes you being honest with yourself, determined to even look at your life in totality, and willingness to change. To face and accept change is growth and maturity! We are creatures of habit, so if change and its results are unfamiliar, we would be rather reluctant to welcome change.
5.Change also seems to cost. It calls for a 'lost' or letting go of something to make room for something unfamiliar to come in! That lost could range from adjusting your schedule to letting go of grandma!
6.Look at what, who, and where that are beneficial and what who and where that are detrimental, all for your own self-improvement! You are worth it and deserve better!
Isn’t Personal Development easy? Being facetious, it isn’t an easy task, but it is needed and well worth it for your overall optimal state of being and health. You are your own investment! Start pouring into yourself!
Check out the next blog on Helpful tips and strategies on self-improvement for an Overall Better You in the ’10!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
New Year, New YOU! Personally Developing You in the '10
Let's talk about Personal Development and Evaluation! This is to groom you straight to success in the '10! Each Day, I will give you one of five ways to begin the process to the BEST YOU YOU EVER KNEW! Are you ready?
The intent to this article is for you to:
1. know what personal development and evaluation are,
2.explore or evaluate self and see if you are growing,
3.identify challenging areas of growth,
4. develop self-awareness, strategies, and techniques for self-improvement,
5. maintain and continue growth.
Today's topic, What is Personal Development and Evaluation? Personal Development are desires or aspirations to change or grow and take action in growing. The point of Personal Development is to:
1. Discover yourself,
2. Better Yourself,
3. Effectively help others grow.
If you think about it, it mimics way of life! We start growing as soon as we are born! Actually, we develop and grow prior to birth, right? Why does growth and development stop when we are adults? It continues. When we were ready to walk, we stopped crawling and challenged ourselves to walk, even at the expense of 'falling down' quite a few times, until we were tired of falling. We strengthened our legs through endless practice, all for the vision of WALKING! You were able to envision walking because you were surrounded by others who were walking! Not around those as much who could not walk! (ARE YOU REALLY GETTING THIS MESSAGE EVERYONE? WILL TALK MORE ON THIS LATER) Same principal applies to Personal Growth, keep at it until the vision you see becomes reality!
Evaluation is overall determining, assessing, calculating, estimating, or appraising worth or significance using a criteria against a set of standards, according to Webster's dictionary. Basically, you are checking for worth or value of something. The point of Evaluation in the since of Personal Development is to:
1. meet your standards,
2. reevaluate your standards,
3. assist in your personal growth.
You establish check offs for three areas that comprises you:
1. MIND- evaluate this element to see if you have clear views of yourself, others, and the world, (how am i thinking about myself, life and others?).
2. BODY-evaluate this element in terms of health and wellness (how are my eating habits, do i maximize exercising for better health?)
3. SPIRIT-evaluate your spirituality, regardless of faith or religion. This element is most ignored, but we do have spiritual beings that needs to be attended in order to have full wholeness and balance (am i connected to a high power, do i meditate or reflect on my future, on life, etc?).
When all three elements are attended to, this brings a very healthy and optimal state of living. Evaluating means to be honest and accepting of all the results. It is how you use the results of the evaluation that determines your personal growth.
So are we growing? How do you know if you really are? So many factors need to be addressed and understood.
If you want to know, look forward to tomorrow's Blog: EXPLORING AND EVALUATING YOU TO SEE IF YOU ARE REALLY SERIOUS OR REALLY LYING!
Any Questions, contact Sarah at www.info@reset-mylife.net
The intent to this article is for you to:
1. know what personal development and evaluation are,
2.explore or evaluate self and see if you are growing,
3.identify challenging areas of growth,
4. develop self-awareness, strategies, and techniques for self-improvement,
5. maintain and continue growth.
Today's topic, What is Personal Development and Evaluation? Personal Development are desires or aspirations to change or grow and take action in growing. The point of Personal Development is to:
1. Discover yourself,
2. Better Yourself,
3. Effectively help others grow.
If you think about it, it mimics way of life! We start growing as soon as we are born! Actually, we develop and grow prior to birth, right? Why does growth and development stop when we are adults? It continues. When we were ready to walk, we stopped crawling and challenged ourselves to walk, even at the expense of 'falling down' quite a few times, until we were tired of falling. We strengthened our legs through endless practice, all for the vision of WALKING! You were able to envision walking because you were surrounded by others who were walking! Not around those as much who could not walk! (ARE YOU REALLY GETTING THIS MESSAGE EVERYONE? WILL TALK MORE ON THIS LATER) Same principal applies to Personal Growth, keep at it until the vision you see becomes reality!
Evaluation is overall determining, assessing, calculating, estimating, or appraising worth or significance using a criteria against a set of standards, according to Webster's dictionary. Basically, you are checking for worth or value of something. The point of Evaluation in the since of Personal Development is to:
1. meet your standards,
2. reevaluate your standards,
3. assist in your personal growth.
You establish check offs for three areas that comprises you:
1. MIND- evaluate this element to see if you have clear views of yourself, others, and the world, (how am i thinking about myself, life and others?).
2. BODY-evaluate this element in terms of health and wellness (how are my eating habits, do i maximize exercising for better health?)
3. SPIRIT-evaluate your spirituality, regardless of faith or religion. This element is most ignored, but we do have spiritual beings that needs to be attended in order to have full wholeness and balance (am i connected to a high power, do i meditate or reflect on my future, on life, etc?).
When all three elements are attended to, this brings a very healthy and optimal state of living. Evaluating means to be honest and accepting of all the results. It is how you use the results of the evaluation that determines your personal growth.
So are we growing? How do you know if you really are? So many factors need to be addressed and understood.
If you want to know, look forward to tomorrow's Blog: EXPLORING AND EVALUATING YOU TO SEE IF YOU ARE REALLY SERIOUS OR REALLY LYING!
Any Questions, contact Sarah at www.info@reset-mylife.net
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